Wedding Fever. Gardening Sucks.

Look at that, I get to over a hundred followers and I go quiet.

{ tumbleweed }

Do you ever get that?  There’s so much rattling around in the old noggin’ but as soon as you sit in front of a computer – nothing.  Couldn’t think of anything to say.

Which is unusual really, since I have the ability to ramble on profusely.  Anyway.

This last weekend was a busy one.  We had a wedding to go to.  Ooooooooh.

I’m very much of a casual man myself, exceedingly happy in slobbing around in a pair of trackies and mangled old jumper, but every now and again the need to break out the old suit returns.

I do like wearing a suit.  I think I look quite good in a suit.  Others may not agree, but it’s about self confidence.  Large people can look good too!

Imagine an overweight Toadfish from neighbours in his best Men In Black get up.  That’s me.

However, wearing a suit on a particularly warm day is horrible.  Warm = understatement.

The day was nice, the wedding was sophisticated and the happy couple looked fantastic.  The ceremony was as good a wedding I have seen, luckily I only had to be in one photo (don’t like posing for photos, well, maybe under the right circumstances….) and the reception afterwards was good.  Food and music a perfect combination.

I am so happy for the couple.  I mean, I’ve been the brother-in-law now for six years and known them for about ten, so was well chuffed to finally see them get wed.  They are so suited to each other it’s sickening!  Well, good luck I say.  They already have a daughter but I reckon the next step is number two.  Why not….

Meanwhile, whilst I know all the attention should be on the bride and groom, my focus was on one of the flower girls, as it was my darling daughter.  She looked stunning.  So proud.

My Darling Flower Girl

Don’t she look pretty!  Quick, model agencies, sign her up before she eats all my chocolate!

Other than that, I’ve been gardening for the last four days, late into the night on a couple of occasions, and have tidied my shed.  It’s been a productive week really, until I get back into the office.  Then it all stops.

I don’t usually bother with the garden.  I’ve tried every year to make it better, but I get bored.  I can’t afford to spend loads on shrubs and water features, or even sort out the ant problem, but hey I try my best.

Then the rain comes and it all seems worth it.



Notable absence

Once again I’m here to apologise, I have been neglecting my duties as a blogger.

What with the daughter’s birthday a couple of weeks ago and work commitments, I have been unable to get on and write to you, dear readers.

My work load has increased exponentially in the last couple of weeks and I have been so busy it’s ridiculous!  However, despite being hugely busy at work and at home, I have now decided to carry out a want of mine, that has been festering for some years.

I have always thought myself as somewhat proficient with the English language, compared to some people, and I also have a (partially) creative mind, so obviously I have always wanted to write a story.  I won’t say book because I doubt it will ever get that far, with me probably giving up halfway through, but I’m going to give it a go.

I have a basic outline of what the storyline will be and I have even thought about characters, so the foundations are there, I just need to get on with it.

The problem I have though is belief.  I write these things, poetry and the like, but don’t believe that they are any good or worth reading.  Don’t get me wrong, I am hugely appreciative of the few of you who have commented on my attempts at poetry, it is very kind.  I still don’t think anybody wants to read them!

With writing this story, I’m doing it for me, to see if I can actually create a complete writing project.  If anybody reads it and gains pleasure from it, that’s a bonus!

Anyway, enough with my fantasy world, I hope everybody is ok and I promise I will return shortly with something worth reading.

Thank you!

Wannabe Writer

Working from Home

Surely that’s enough
I’ve had all I can take
The last hour has been tough

The day had started well
But it has just dragged on and on
Everyone feels the same, I can tell

The filing has all been done
I’ve packed away my belongings
Now is the time that we were gone

Hoping the boss doesn’t see me sitting
Blatantly doing nothing
Looking at the job section, seems quite fitting

The clock appears to be slowing
Maybe it has stopped entirely
It must be time for us all to be going?

Wait for it…. Bang!  That’s it!
Five o’clock means it’s home time
Computer off, coat on, it’s time to flit

Key in the door, the week is complete
Forgot about work and deadlines
Head to the kitchen, find something to eat

Now, there’s nothing to do but sit and look
What now? Watch the telly? Read a book?
Oh hang on, just got to check Facebook….

Slave to the Computer
Check out my other poems here.

A Valentine Adventure

It’s that time again
It comes but once a year
A single day
That fills a man with fear

A fear that is not apparent
Well, not at first anyway
Give it time though, just wait
It only happens late in the day

………………… Oh dear.  Oh my.
I can’t believe I’ve done it again
How did I forget it?
This day can only end in pain

It’s ok, she’s not home yet
There’s still time to save myself
Make a dash to the shops, pick something up
If I don’t, it’s going to be bad for my health

Card and flowers will be enough
I hope there’s still some left to take
Turn the corner, look to the left
All I see is emptiness, for f***’s sake

Damn, she’ll be back soon
Better grab something quick and run
Pick a card, take some choc
Pay at the counter, right I’m done

Arrive home, act normal
Back just in the nick of time

Check the card to make sure
………….’Happy Mothers Day’…………
At least I have the chocolates
Hang on, what does that say?!
Who the hell stacked these shelves
Why would I want a box of chicken satay?!

I think this will not be forgiven
I never did like February much anyway
I hope I’m not the only one to suffer…

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentines Day

Check out my other poetry attempts here.

An Ode to Dora

So tell me this
Since you know it all
Why are you so annoying?
Why do you make my skin crawl?

Don’t you understand?
Can you say this two ways?
Fuck off and leave my screen
Go and learn Francais…

I’m sick of you
And all you’re little friends
Helping people and animals
Oh god, when will it end?

And how come
By the way
You’re allowed out
At all times of the day?

What are your parents doing?
Letting you roam round the jungle
The beach or the river
They don’t even moan or mumble

I would do my fucking nut
Wandering off, not saying where
You would be grounded for life
Don’t you dare say that’s not fair!

With all the danger in this world
You can not go out alone
Especially when none of your clothes fit
You, my girl, are staying at home

How you get out without us seeing
Well, it’s a mystery
And no, you can’t have visitors
I’ve never liked that monkey… 

If you carry on, the way you’re going
You’ll end up on the streets or in a van
It won’t be with your friends
But with a dirty old pervert called Stan

Trust me; it’s for your own good
As I really can’t take no more
Who do you think you are?
Some sort of fucking explorer?

Check out my other poems.


Time is running out
There’s so much to do
Lots to get ready
To prepare just for you

Lots of painting for daddy to do
But it’s not the fun kind
Lots of shopping for mummy
She likes that though, you’ll find

Your sister is waiting for you
To enter into this world
She just wants to meet you
Whether you are a boy or a girl

To share her toys and her books
Sophie just wants to play
She has been asking for you
But she can wait a few more days

We’re not perfect parents
To which we will readily say
But we will always try our very best
Until the very last day

Check out my other poems.


Every day of the week
The soundtrack is the same
With lots of laughing and clapping
And shrieking all the way

When you’re happy
We’re happy too
Your laughter is contagious
We don’t know what to do!

We all play together
With all your noisy toys
You’re such a happy soul
We’ll keep you away from all the boys! 

You press all of the buttons
To see what noise they make
They drive Daddy round the twist
But that’s what makes it great

We hope we keep you happy
For the rest of your childhood life
‘Coz if you keep on smiling
You’ll make a smashing wife

But do remember one thing
If you like a certain lad
There’s many tests to pass, my dear
But there’s no-one quite like Dad!

Check out my other poems.

The Big Adventure

The time has come to say hello
A new era, a new day, a new dawn
The wait for this day has finally ended
For at six minutes past seven, you were born

The sense of joy overpowers all anxiety
At that moment, all the fear and worry disappears
You are now my sole purpose, my world, my being
It doesn’t happen often, but you had me in tears

What happens now, where do we go?
All this is new, to both you and me
So much to learn, so much to do
We’ll do it together you, mummy and me 

This will be one big adventure
Full of laughter, tears, love and companionship
We will stay together, as a team
Always there for each other, providing friendship

You will find that when you get older
Times will be hard, you’ll feel like you’ve had enough
But remember, your family will always be there for you
You will never be alone, no matter how tough

You are loved so much by everyone you meet
You will never lose that gift, that ability
Whether they’re friends, family or people in the street
Even if you’re acting daft or down right silly

The world has produced one more beauty
Though I feel I must take some credit
When you grow up, a loving and beautiful person
You take after your Dad, and don’t you forget it!

Check out my other poems.

The Written Word

I have joined this world, known to many
Requiring skills, to which I don’t have any
So many people know how to blog
I always thought it was like the ‘Captain’s Log’
Recording their thoughts of the day
No limits on what they can say
Saying exactly what they mean
Whilst trying not to be obscene
Community based place of sharing
Where most people are classed as caring
Not everybody believes what they’ve said
Where you fear the next comment, with dread
Full of so many differing characters
Ranging from loons to famous actors
Ok, that might not be strictly true
But it is full of people just like me and you
All of who just want to be heard
And have a common purpose.  The written word.

Check out my other Poems