Ever get that feeling…


In a world that is currently all over the place, resulting in many new and daunting changes, how you react is important. Do you scream and hide? Do you seek and investigate? Do you laugh and ignore? Whatever you do, it’s your choice.

I can’t talk for everyone around the world, but I have an understanding about how it is in the UK. That’s where I am. Where I’m from.

I’ve spent the last 14 months in a bedroom. I’ve not been trapped or bed-ridden, no, I’ve been working from home. I’ve had the fortune to work for an employer that has kept me going, kept me working. Not everyone has had that and I have much sympathy and respect for those who lost their jobs and are marching on. Keep going, there will be light at the end.

But what I said in my first post after four years, this place is all about my thoughts and opinions. Please don’t get offended by what I say but if you do, keep scrolling.

Anyway, 14 months, four walls, one laptop. I’m usually an upbeat person, always joking and messing around but by ‘eck, it has been a struggle. I don’t want to overuse the term ‘mental health’ but it is a real thing and it is something that definitely needs to be maintained. You need to look after it, much like you would care for that freshly poured cold beer. Oh, and the children.

I have worked 10-11 hour days for the past 14 months. I do take the weekends off (im not a monster!) but even still, all that time and only the permission to walk for an hour a day at peak times… it does make me feel like I have aged many, many years. The worst thing is that I have let myself go. I’ve lost confidence in myself. I’ve lost the ability to have silly fun. I’ve lost the ability to touch my toes.

I’ve got fatter. Plain and simple. But that’s why I’m here. I’m taking back control of me and my life. I am an interesting person (you can’t judge me after two posts!) and I can be the person I used to be. I just need to lose a few stone first. The link here is that being more overweight than you’ve ever been and being stuck in a box, no good comes from that. I’m stuck in my own head most of the time. Trapped. Fearing what people think when they see me, wondering why I’ve changed and have become the miserable one at the party who sits in the corner looking through the CDs (yes, I’m that old!).

So this is me. Come keep me company on my journey out the other side of mental anguish. Come give me a kick in trying to lose weight. I’m sure most of you are on Twitter or Facebook, so you will know how empowering a nice comment can be and just how much of a push an encouraging comment can give. I will probably bore you or drone on, but it’s my time now. Thank you for your time and attention.

And now, a bird….

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