Toddle Off!

People, people!! 

We are through the looking glass here people!

‘El Destructo’ has now become a vastly improved machine of devastation.  Yes, you got it, the boy is now officially walking!

Ok, I suppose it’s more toddling, but we have since disposed of the need for furniture and people to walk around the room.  Yep, now nothing is safe…

I must admit, we were wondering how long it would actually take him to make the transition from cruising on the furniture to full on walking, it does appear that he very much works to his own timescale.  He was the same with the whole rolling over, crawling, etc.  He just seems to want to be independent, which is dangerous in a child that isn’t even one yet…

Anyway, he has found his feet and is already terrorising the household.  He can already be found wandering around with that ‘what can I destroy next’ look on his face, the cats already know to hide and his sister has been warned.  Let the joy begin!

I think it is safe to say that ‘baby’ has definitely now been replaced with a ‘person’.

Christ, that was quick….

(Photo a bit blurred, rubbish phone, but he wouldn’t stay still.  He thinks I wanted the sock that was in his mouth.  Yes, dear readers, a sock… *shakes head*)

Hello, have we met??

Ok ok, look, no excuses……

I am still alive I promise, but things are just stupidly busy!

I will endeavour to update you all in the coming days, but just to outline what’s been happening; I have lost my position at work and need to find a new one, I’m in the middle of moving house, my three year old thinks she’s 15, my boy is soooo close to walking and I’m going ever more grey.  Well, with the hair that’s left….

That’s just a quickie and I will expand soon, but I apologise to all those people that stop by to see what rubbish I’m typing and have found nothing.  I am profusely sorry.

Normal drivel will return soon.

In the meantime, something interesting…..

Shin Guards On…..

Right, lots been going on.

First off, the big news……  The boy is crawling!!

Yes, that’s right, from out of nowhere we now have a crawling destruction machine.  He’s been crusing along the furniture for a few weeks now, and loves to be on his feet, walking along with Mummy and Daddy.  He did not seem interested in crawling so we assumed that he wouldn’t bother.

My, we were wrong….

He learnt in the space of an hour.  He went from his normal sitting position, leant over for a toy and usual ended up on his tummy.  He did this a few times, until suddenly, he was up on his arms, then the bum come up!  He was on his knees.  A few tentative attempts…

Then he was off!!  And he has not stopped since.  He is deceptively quick and you can’t put anything down anymore, it’s gone.  Toys are no longer out of reach and the daughter now lives in fear.  She isn’t used to being chased around by anyone apart from Daddy, now there’s something going for her ankles!  Bless (he says whilst laughing!)

Anyway, I am a very proud Daddy and am now scared.  Very. 

No, no, no, get away from my TV…………

Secondly, another excuse for my absence, do you remember me saying that my job has been taken away?  Yeah, still is going to be, but in the mean time they are expecting me to run that section of the department on my own again!  Now, the professional in me says fine, I’ve been doing it anyway, but….

The other part of me says……… well, I can’t type it here, but along the lines of why should I bother?  Why would I do it when they’ve taken my job away?

I don’t know, just think they’re taking the ….. wotsit.

200 and still going!

So, here we are, my 200th post! 

Ok, not really a big deal to anybody but me, but I never thought I’d last this long.  yes, I don’t post as regular as I should and it’s not always that interesting, but hey, I’m still here and so are you lovely lot, so I must be doing something right!

Anyway, for this post I thought I’d share the latest milestone.

My boy, the other day, called me Dada.

*sniff*  *wipes tear from eye*

Yep, proud daddy over here.  He’s, what, eight months old and has only just started trying to form words and sentences.  Well guess what world, dada was one of his first noises/grunts!

I completely disregard any other noises that may have come before and may have resembled other words.  No Mummy, this ones mine!

Well done boy, keep rocking out!!

And as an extra offering, the wonderful people WilderSoul have generously pointed me to their free pictures, from their colouring book, for readers to download and enjoy.  There are some really nice pictures to choose from, please stop by when you’ve finished reading!

Thank you, to everybody that has read and even followed my random mutterings.  It’s been a jumbled journey thus far, but I’ve enjoyed doing it and I hope you enjoy at least some of my randomness!

Thank you people.  J.

The Question This Week

Right People, question time.

It’s hot.  So hot it’s difficult to turn the TV over.  The rest of the family have gone out for the day.  An empty house is yours to enjoy.  BUT it’s an absolute tip.  Do you:
a.  Tidy the house in one full blitz, enjoy the fan in the afternoon.
b.  Tidy in small doses, ensuring to hydrate properly.
c.  Say ‘F*** It, it’s too hot.  There’s nothing decomposing, it’s fine’

How did you answer?  I bet most of you would go with C…..

Well, this is the quandry I find myself in for tomorrow’s activities of the day.  I know that there isn’t much on the TV to watch, and whilst I’ve got work to do I’ve had enough of it for one week.  So, makes sense to tidy and clean.

*shrugs shoulders*   Can’t be bothered.

Why is it that they make the most mess just before they leave daddy at home alone?  Knowing full well that he will clear it up ready for them to come home and trash it again.

When did I become so domesticated……

Anyway, I suppose I already know the answer to the question posed.  Muggins here will be sweating profusely as he attempts to hoover with Henry and not tread on anymore of those bloody toys.

Well, to all those daddy’s out there who never get invited out and stay at home.  I hope for your sake that the weather doesn’t get too hot.  You MUST hydrate adequately.  Keep the lager in the fridge, it makes it more watery or something……..

Right then, where were we….

Blimey.  I’ve been gone that long?

I do apologise.  It has been hectic this end.  Right, let’s update.

The boy is now over six months old but is the size of an average one year old.  I don’t mean we’ve been feeding him too much, he’s very much in proportion, but he’s a big bugger!

He’s just learned to roll over, both ways, and can sit up unaided without the fear of face-planting the carpet.

Oh yeah, he is also now eating proper food.  Which is good because I am getting sick to death of making these sodding bottles.  He isn’t onto the full blown three courses quite yet, but he is eating sandwiches, crisps, cheese and the odd bit of steak….. ha, joking.

He has found his voice and now joins in with the shouting matches that frequent our household.  It’s not going to be long before he’s shouting at his sister!

(seemless link) Yes, the sister.  She is doing very well at nursery three times a week, she loves the playing but has started coming home with the weirdest things.  I don’t know exactly what they do during the day, but some of the conversation starters she comes up with are, well, scary!

She has finally started to play on her own, which is good ‘coz she was doing my head in!  No, I don’t want to eat that manky plastic bit of pizza, or the squashed strawberry, I’m quite happy just sitting here, thanks.

Right that’s the kids, what’s next?

One of the cats has fleas, one of them has worms and the other has no friends.

The main part of my absence is my work.  I am super busy.  I also must be dedicated because I don’t know if I’ll still have a job in six to twelve months time, but we crack on.  I am professional after all, ahem, and will continue to work right up until they show me the door.  Then I may go on a rampage and break a desk or something.  Don’t know, haven’t thought that far ahead.

I also have a couple of other projects on the go which is taking up my time, so I apologise in advance if the frequency of these updates is a little sparce.  Don’t worry, I’m still thinking of you all!

Thanks people, speak to you soon.

My Darling Flower Girl

That was the weekend that was:

Dismal.  Productive.  Short.

The weather in this country over the weekend was shocking.  Managed to get a good walk in but that was it. 

We were confined to the house.  But with nothing on the telly, what do you do?  I reliquished my Sky Sports package two weeks before the end of the season so couldn’t even watch the football.

However, I did the productive bit on Saturday morning.

After seven years or so, I finally managed to put all of my boxes up into the loft.  Until now, it had all been stored under the stairs, the one cupboard for storage in the house.  All the stuff from the past moves, all my school books and stuff, and also old toys from my childhood. 

Well it’s all gone.  The cupboard is empty.  A whole box of shredding dealt with (mainly school books and stuff) and a few boxes emptied.  The rest has been safely stored above.

Before you judge me, I can explain.  Seven years is a long time, I agree, but four of those can be accounted for with the reasoning that I didn’t have a big enough ladder.  This past weekend I had to borrow a ladder so that I can get the job done.  The other years I have no excuse (except laziness).

Now, my recent behaviour does beg a question; what is going on?!

In the past couple of weeks, I have tidied the garden, sorted the shed and now sorted the boxes.  I am becoming super domesticated.  Why have I started to become house proud?

Maybe I am doing my stint before I pass on the baton…

Picture courtesy of LaughingSquid.com

Wedding Fever. Gardening Sucks.

Look at that, I get to over a hundred followers and I go quiet.

{ tumbleweed }

Do you ever get that?  There’s so much rattling around in the old noggin’ but as soon as you sit in front of a computer – nothing.  Couldn’t think of anything to say.

Which is unusual really, since I have the ability to ramble on profusely.  Anyway.

This last weekend was a busy one.  We had a wedding to go to.  Ooooooooh.

I’m very much of a casual man myself, exceedingly happy in slobbing around in a pair of trackies and mangled old jumper, but every now and again the need to break out the old suit returns.

I do like wearing a suit.  I think I look quite good in a suit.  Others may not agree, but it’s about self confidence.  Large people can look good too!

Imagine an overweight Toadfish from neighbours in his best Men In Black get up.  That’s me.

However, wearing a suit on a particularly warm day is horrible.  Warm = understatement.

The day was nice, the wedding was sophisticated and the happy couple looked fantastic.  The ceremony was as good a wedding I have seen, luckily I only had to be in one photo (don’t like posing for photos, well, maybe under the right circumstances….) and the reception afterwards was good.  Food and music a perfect combination.

I am so happy for the couple.  I mean, I’ve been the brother-in-law now for six years and known them for about ten, so was well chuffed to finally see them get wed.  They are so suited to each other it’s sickening!  Well, good luck I say.  They already have a daughter but I reckon the next step is number two.  Why not….

Meanwhile, whilst I know all the attention should be on the bride and groom, my focus was on one of the flower girls, as it was my darling daughter.  She looked stunning.  So proud.

Don’t she look pretty!  Quick, model agencies, sign her up before she eats all my chocolate!

Other than that, I’ve been gardening for the last four days, late into the night on a couple of occasions, and have tidied my shed.  It’s been a productive week really, until I get back into the office.  Then it all stops.

I don’t usually bother with the garden.  I’ve tried every year to make it better, but I get bored.  I can’t afford to spend loads on shrubs and water features, or even sort out the ant problem, but hey I try my best.

Then the rain comes and it all seems worth it.

Bugger.

There ain’t enough hours in the day…

Do you ever get that feeling in the morning when you’ve just woken up, look at the clock and go, ‘what the hell just happened?  It’s Thursday already?’

Days merge.  Hours disappear.  Minutes just don’t exist.

Before you say it, yes I know I obviously can’t plan my time properly.  But hey, I got two kids and a wife.  Give me a break!

It’s very difficult to plan each and every minute of the day when you have children.  When you think they are in their room playing nicely, giving you a minute’s breather, as soon as your cheeks hit that chair, ‘Daddy, can I sit with you?’

What the…

I swear all ninja’s in the world are really children.  Their stealth abilities are second to none.

Anyway, I don’t seem to be able to pace out my day.  I have so much to do in the evenings, yet never seem to be able to do anything.  Take this blog for instance, the randomness of my posting befits my lack of time.  If you can keep a secret, most of the time when I write to here I’m at work.  Yes I know, technically I’m not allowed and I will get found out one day, but it’s the only time I get to talk to you lot!

Now I have also taken on some extra work for others which I need to do at home when I can.  Which I can’t.  There’s not enough time.

I wish I could afford a child minder or nanny or something.  Or that I didn’t have to work.  That would be the best.  No work.