As much as you try your best, it’s nigh on impossible to stop the inevetible.
The good parenting skills that you have stolen, learnt or at least tried can not stop it. It feels like the world is ganging up on you.
That moment, when your child turns round and swears at you.
You don’t know what to say. You take a few seconds for it to really sink in. What did they just say? Where did they pick that up from? Hang on, am I going to get the blame for this? I mean, I am the only one here and she is talking to me; are people going to assume that I spend all the free time we have together teaching my daughter how to swear effectively in different languages? What do I do?
Your first reaction is tell the child off, tell them that that’s a naughty word and never to say it again.
‘Ok, daddy, I promise’.
Whilst all the time, you know, figuring out when to say it again without being caught. Or at the very least when it will get daddy in as much trouble as possible.
After the furore has died down, you sit down with you cup of tea and wonder just what happened. Where has it come from? I know I for one seldom swear, no hang on, that’s not me I’m thinking of….
Shit. I mean bugger. I mean drat.
I thought I hadn’t ever sworn in the presence of a child. No, I’m sure I haven’t, it must have been someone else. Mummy maybe. Or even Nana. Anybody but me.
Oh god, I’m going to have to tell Mummy what’s happened.